Some traits shared during social interaction, mainly during childhood, determine the types of attachment that each person develops in their life, explains CETYS Expert.
The human being is a social being. Since his birth, he maintains contact with his peers, mainly with his parents, that connection marks the beginning of the relationship with his closest circle and will set the tone for his social development with others.
There is a custom of sustaining physical contact in some way when meeting others. These are rituals of presentation and unconscious ways of transforming the strange into the familiar. These are shared codes that vary according to geographical areas, ages, and the level of trust and affection between the participants, this link is known as attachment.
To understand what attachment is, the Psychologist Elisa González, a member of the psycho-pedagogical department of the CETYS University Campus Mexicali High School, defined it as an affective bond that is established from the first moments of life between the mother and the newborn or the person in charge of your care. Its function is to ensure care, psychological development, and personality formation.
She stated that there are four main types of attachment: secure, anxious, and ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized. “The growth of attachments occurs during childhood and these remain or are modified throughout the stages of life.”
It is the healthiest attachment of all and one would have to bet on it if we talk about social relationships. This attachment occurs when the caregiver provides security and is concerned with establishing communication and contact with the person.
Human beings with this type of attachment actively explore their environment, feel emotionally validated and safe to relate to their surroundings. That is, they can lead to independent adult life, without disregarding their interpersonal relationships and emotional ties.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment is a type of bond in which the emotions of restlessness, possessiveness, and insecurity predominate in the relationship with the loved one. In principle, it is due to unresolved problems of whoever establishes this type of nexus.
“In this type of attachment generates anguish, the person does not trust her close circle and grows with a feeling of uncertainty and insecurity, due to the inconsistency in the care of her support network made up of parents, mainly relatives.”
Avoidant attachment can be recognized in people who avoid their emotions; unlike anxious-ambivalent attachment, they seem very emotional. This means that in adult life, that emotional disconnection causes this attachment, that the person does not know how to transmit what they feel or communicate their needs, since they have difficulties to identify and express their emotions. Also, they are people who seem very self-sufficient, who give security to others, but because they have denied their vulnerability and their shortcomings since they have no contact with their emotions.
It consists of a mixture of anxious and avoidant attachments and is caused by the unsafe or negligent behavior of the parents. Those who present it tend to be insecure and respond with impulsive or explosive reactions and mismanagement of their emotions.
The quality of the attachment that a person generates with her parents or guardians will determine both her mental model as an adult, as well as her relationships with others, her fears, or her emotional management.
“If as children we develop a positive concept of the attachment figure and ourselves, the feelings that we will experience will be of security, trust, joy, and well-being, while, if the mental model is negative, our feelings will be of insecurity, mistrust, anger, and fear,” she detailed.
He emphasized that it is extremely important to pay attention to the first years of child development since it is during this period that strong bonds and a secure relationship are established in which they can feel cared for and protected.
“Although our first approach to attachment is the responsibility of the parents, once in adulthood we are aware of the relationships we have with others and we detect behaviors that can be modified, it is always advisable to request the help of an expert in the topic to receive guidance,” concluded the teacher.